(Original Post from Dr. Brenner’s personal Blog, May 9, 2013)
In 1978, my friend and teacher, Brugh Joy, invited me to participate with eleven other individual in Tahoe, California, for a week of group meditation and fasting. Simply put, it was intense. The last night, I had an amazing dream; I believe it to be a collective dream. I have shared this dream with no more then a half dozen people and never had permission to write about it before, other then in my journal, that morning, twenty-five years ago. As stated, this is a collective dream and is open for interpretation.
Standing in front of me stood an Indian, with a magnificent white-feathered headdress and piecing eyes. I began to laugh. He looked at me sternly with anger, “Pay attention!” He placed a woven, gray blanket, with a black eagle, around my shoulders. I then passed through all the Indian Nations. They separated, as if to honor me. I was then introduced to “Primitive Tribes”, their nude bodies covered in dry mud. They parted and let me through. I experienced a certain knowing that this experience was not for me but for “WE”. I then entered an alabaster palace were I was adorned with jewels and a sense of deep love. A crown was placed on my head. I moved through a crack in the wall and passed through rows of creatures and demons. They too acknowledged me.
I started to ascend and said, “Why me?” A voice outside of myself said, “ You are just a recorder.” This statement absolutely made clear that this journey was NOT for me but for “We”.
I then stood before a huge building and the same voice said, “You are now entering the chamber of kings.” The room was vast and held rows upon rows of gray flannel pews that stretched to infinity. I asked, “ Where is Jesus? Where is Buddha? Where is Martin Luther King? Where is Gandhi? Where is Mohammed? Where is Abraham?” My self-questioning was interrupted by a booming voice, a far different voice then before, “WE WILL ALL SIT AT ONE!” I froze. I instinctively knew to not turn around and slowly, very slowly and carefully backed out of the room.
I began a descent. I then saw Jesus on the cross and felt awe. I said, “Will you get off that cross!” and immediately was swept forcefully into it.
An excruciating pain awakened me. It was if a truck was sitting on my chest. I barely could breath. There was another person sleeping in the room. I tried to call him but did not have enough breath to make a sound loud enough to awaken him. A thought entered my consciousness, “ The only one who can save you is you.” I repeated the thought to myself and had some relief. Silently repeating the phrase again, I could breath. The third time I shouted, “ The only one who can save you is you”, and felt entirely relieved of any discomfort. Immediately impelled to write the dream, I went into another room and obsessively rewrote the night’s experience until I felt it was exactly recorded in the way it happened.
This dream changed my life. It has made me aware that no one is more important then another. If there is a “there”, no one gets “there” until the last person on the planet gets “there”. “I” is “We”. “We” are both “love” and “GOD”. And finally, the only one who can save “you” is “you”.